Lou's Most Excellent Honeyed Asparagus

It's very easy to do grilled asparagus: coat with olive oil, garlic, and salt and pepper. Grill. Too bad it gets really boring after awhile. Oh boy, grilled asparagus, again. Doesn't that sum'bitch come up with anything new?

So if boredom's got you down, try this.

1 pound fresh asparagus
Macadamia nut oil
Sea salt
1 small shallot, minced
1 clove garlic, minced
2 TBS honey
1 fennel bulb, cut into ¼ inch rings and halved

Cut the bottom inch off the asparagus and plunge the stalks into about 2 inches of fresh, cold water. Let them sit for 30 minutes. [This helps rejuvenate the stuff - it really works]

If the asparagus is thick (thicker than your pinky finger thick), lightly peel the stalks with a veggie peeler being careful not to peel your finger, like I did. It was a gusher - took 30 minutes to stop. This photo is 3 days later.

In a baking dish large enough to hold all the asparagus, sprinkle with sea salt and then coat with about 2 TBS of macadamia nut oil. Add the shallot, garlic, and honey to the mix and then add in the fennel.

Grill over direct fire until lightly browned. Serve immediately.

Lou's Most Excellent Sausage Stuffed Chicken

Brilliant. Genius. Innovation defined.

How can one not go wrong with a chicken breast stuffed with sausage and then grilled? The idea hit me while running the other day as I didn't want to do my usual schtick with the bird, and this came up. I'm still patting myself on the back.

1 whole chicken breast, with skin and bone in, split
2 smoked sausages, skin removed*
Lou's Most Excellent Chicken Brine, minus the oregano, rosemary, chives, thyme, and onion.

*I used Meyer's Elgin sausage for this recipe.

Brine the chicken parts.

Cut the sausage lengthwise into thirds. Place three sausage strips in between the skin and the meat and lightly coat the skin with olive oil.

Cook the chicken as per LME Grilled Chicken tips skin side down, using hickory as your main smoke flavor.

Mmmmmmm.....

Lou's Most Excellent Spicy Tequila Succotash

I never say this when I make something before it's done, but while scooping this into the bowl - before I even tasted it - I said to Judy, "This is gonna be f'ing good."

Turns out I was right. So right that this morning Judy wanted this as her side dish for her sandwich this afternoon instead of Cheetos, which are pretty hard to pass up.

A lot of things went into this and I think some could even be left out if you don't have them, such as the parsley, chives, and Romano cheese. Otherwise this comes together pretty quick and is a different take on the classic succotash.

Two ears fresh corn
One medium zucchini
Two roasted Hatch or Anaheim chili peppers
One jalapeno pepper
3 TBS Tequila
1 TBS butter
2 TBS heavy cream
2 TBS grated Parmesan
1 TBS grated Peccorino-Romano
1 TBS minced parsley
1 TSP minced chives
Salt

Shuck the corn and cut off the kernels, set aside. Cut the zucchini in half, then quarter each piece and halve each of those; you wind up with each piece cut into eighths. Cut the inner wedge/seeds out of each by running a knife up each piece so you are only left with the skin of the zucchini with about ¼ inch of flesh. Dice the zucchini into corn-kernel sized chunks.

Remove the skins and seeds from the chili peppers; cut into dime sized chunks. Remove the seeds from the jalapeno and finely dice.

In a large, non-stick skillet heat to medium-high. Add the butter and allow it to brown, then add the corn and zucchini bits. Allow to sit for 3 - 4 minutes undisturbed, then quickly toss. Check to see that the vegetables are browning. If they aren't, let them sit longer prior to tossing. Do this for about 10 minutes; check for doneness by eating a corn kernel. Add the peppers when the corn is done and cook an additional 3 minutes.

Add the Tequila and mix, let simmer off for 3 - 4 minutes and then add the cream. Toss in the cheeses, mix, then add the herbs. Add salt to taste...in our case we didn't need any as all the flavors worked without the need.

Lou's Most Excellent Roasted Hatch Chilies

It's that MOST, won-der-ful tiiiiiime, of the year.....

It's Hatch Chili Pepper season and usually here in DC we get screwed on the deal: in the past we've smuggled them out of Texas by checking a case of them in as luggage...much to the strange stares of everyone.

But this year I FOUND some at Whole Foods and quickly swiped most of them up, screwing anyone else that might want some. So you may be asking, "Lou, what's so special about these Hatch Chilies?"

Well, it's a terroir thing: they only come from Hatch, New Mexico and there's something in the heat, soil, handling of Anaheim peppers there that turn them into Hatch Chilies. They're hot yet buttery smooth and form the foundation of all good things needing chili peppers. From enchiladas to scrambled eggs these things add that extra something special.

But before they can be eaten they must be roasted, and that's why we're here today.

Roasting Hatch Chilies, or any pepper for that matter, is pretty simple. You can do this in an oven, over a gas stove, or the real tasty way by over a raging fire. The fire is preferred because what you want to do is get the peppers to sear and blister; the skin of the pepper isn't too pleasant on the palate. Also, roasting them bring out their great flavors.

Wash the peppers first and get a kitchen towel that's soaked and squeezed damp in water. You'll need one towel per 10 peppers. Set up a little workstation as such:

With the fire now raging in the grill, put your peppers on. They'll start to pop and smoke up a bit almost immediately. You want to char these little bastards pretty good but not cook them through. All you're really trying to do is get the skins off. They're going to blacken pretty good but there will be some peppers - notably the curved ones - that just won't fully blacken in some parts. Don't force the matter because you'll wind up cooking it through instead.

When nicely toasted, place the peppers in the center of the damp towel and fold the towel over them in thirds. Soon you'll see steam coming off the towel and the smell of fresh roasted peppers will fill the air...even if you're outside. Allow the peppers to cool to room temperature underneath the towel. Start your next batch if you've got 'em.

When done, you can use the peppers immediately or store for later use. Prior to using the peppers you'll need to remove the skins, which should come just right off. If storing, put anywhere from 2 - 6 peppers in a Ziplock bag (skins on), remove as much air as possible, and freeze until you're ready.

Lou's Most Excellent Arugula & Scallop Risotto

I had a vegetarian version of this at New Heights recently and it was fantastic. We had a great time there - Sietsema from the Post recently gave it a very good review - but the service was pretty downright lousy. The food, however, was phenomenal.

Never in my life have I ordered a vegetarian entree unless it was eggplant parm or I was forced to go to a vegetarian Indian restaurant. I'm not a "meat & potatoes" guy but I do like my protein to come from things that once moved about. Thus, starting with a tomato salad and then the arugula risotto even raised eyebrows from Judy, my wife.

I've been thinking about that risotto for the last few days and now I'm doing it. Risotto is an überbitch to make as it takes constant babysitting. It's technically easy but you just have to tend to it constantly; be prepared not to leave your stove for about 30 minutes straight once you get going on this. But an added bonus to this dish is that it's moderately healthy: sure there's some fat from the butter and olive oil but with all the veggies going on you should get *some* credit here.

Risotto - and anything you wind up putting in it or on it - turns your kitchen into a mess. I had the processor out, several pans, lots of bowls, cutting boards, etc. Get ready for clean-up. This all said, don't be scared and here we go:

5 oz baby arugula, cleaned
5 basil leaves
6 sprigs of parsley
3 garlic cloves, peeled & smashed
Extra virgin olive oil
Kernels from a half hear of corn
4 cups of chicken stock (or broth), simmering
6 large diver scallops
4 fresh, ripe figs, halved (I prefer the Calimyrna but any will do)
4 baby yellow squash, quartered and cut into dime sized pieces
1½ cups of risotto (arborio)
1 medium onion, finely chopped
4 tablespoons clarified butter (regular butter or olive oil will work)
¼ cup + 1 TBS freshly grated Parmesan
Dry white wine, at least 1 cup (Pinot Grigio or Orvieto work)
1 70 pound black lab

In a food processor add the arugula, basil, parsley and garlic. Pulse for about 10 seconds in 1 second bursts. Add about 3 TBS of olive oil and run the processor until the mixture becomes a paste, almost pesto-ish. Remove from the processor and stir in the ¼ cup of Parmesean cheese. Set aside.

Heat a large, high walled pan (a Dutch oven if you've got it) up to medium high. Add the clarified butter; if using olive oil or butter only heat up to medium. Wait till the fat begin to shimmer and then add the baby squash with a big pinch of kosher salt. Toss in the oil and let sauté, undisturbed, for about 3 minutes. Toss the veggies again - they should be browned by now - and cook a little longer to even out the brownness. Add the corn kernels, toss to mix, and then remove all from the pan into a separate bowl.

[Why clarified butter? Well, a) I had some and b) you can heat it hotter than regular butter and olive oil. And it tastes good too.]

Add the figs to the pan with the fruit side down and let cook undisturbed for about 3 - 4 minutes; you want them to sizzle. Remove from the pan once they begin to show signs of caramelizing...which you just want to reach but not achieve...if that makes sense. Set the figs aside. Tell the dog - again - to get out of the kitchen.

Turn the pan heat down to medium-low and let stabilize here for about 5 minutes. Add an additional TBS of butter and the onion and a big pinch of kosher salt. Sauté - constantly turning - until the onion is translucent, which is about 8 minutes.

Increase the heat to medium and get the onions sizzling - once this happens add the risotto and stir for about 90 seconds, coating the rice with the oil and onions. Add enough broth - about 1.5 cups - to this so the risotto is completely covered by broth but not drowning in it. Call the dog into the kitchen (you'll want his company now) and gently stir.

Constantly.

More and more.

When you're able to take your spoon and move it from one side of the pan to the other through the risotto and it stays parted from where you started, add more broth as you did before.

And slowly, gently stir.

But in between that....

Heat a skillet up to medium high. Add a smidge of clarified butter - just enough to lightly coat the pan. Sprinkle some sea salt on each side of the scallops. [Don't forget to stir and check your risotto....] When the pan is hot add the scallops - they should sizzle. Leave them be for about a minute then flip. Cook an additional minute or more pending your doneness preference. I like mine on the medium-rare side b/c they taste like scallops. Overcook a scallop and you might as well eat an eraser.

The risotto should be near done. Take a small sample; it should be nutty in flavor with a little bit of crunch. If you're there, you're done. If it's too hard, add more broth and keep stirring.


When you're there turn off the heat and add herb mix to the risotto, stir to mix, and then add the corn and squash. Gently stir to mix.

Get the drooling dog with the ferociously wagging tail out of the kitchen. Plate about one cup of risotto in a small mound and sprinkle with additional Parmesan if desired. Top with the scallops and figs. Grab a fork and go to town.

Lou's Most Excellent Grilled Lamb

Where your cute-soon-to-be-delicious lamb was born, raised, and ate affects just about everything about how Mary's Little Meal will taste. Firstly, a 'lamb' by most countries definitions is a sheep that is less than one year of age. Some countries get more specific; Australians further subcategorize lamb by how many teeth they have prior to slaughter. Lamb from Australia and New Zealand is often cheaper and has a more gamey taste than American lamb, which tends to impart more beef-like characteristics and is milder. Icelandic lamb - and there are a lot of them for which I can personally attest - sort of falls in the middle between the American and Aussie/NZ lamb. It's milder than their southern cousins but also leaner than the fatter US compatriots.

For Sunday dinner I decided on lamb as we were having Jim and his son Sam over. Lamb chops and ribs are easy to cook on the grill and prep'd in this manner represent a great, summery dish along side tomato/cucumber/feta salad, corn on the cob, and grilled raddichio. I wanted to do all ribs but some jackass who went to the Dupont Farmers Market that morning decided to buy nearly all of the ribs from Virginia Lamb before 9:15...only 15 minutes into the markets open. I thus was only able to get a 10 rib rack.

Either way, I picked up a few chops to top things off.

The "marinade" is quite simple:

1/3 cup of extra virgin olive oil + extra
1 sprig of fresh mint
5 - 8 fresh basil leaves
2 sprigs of fresh thyme
5 sprigs of parsley
2 cloves of garlic

Separate the herb leaves from their stems and put in a big pile on your cutting board. Add about 1 TBS of olive oil to this and using a rocking motion mince the herbs until none are larger than 1/8 of an inch. [By adding some oil to the mincing procedure this not only helps keep the herbs green but makes it a little easier by keeping them together.] Put this paste into a small container and add the rest of the olive oil. Mince the garlic and add to the herb mix. Set aside for 30 minutes.

Prepare the lamb. Cut the lamb rack into riblets of two each. Some like to do each individually; this is a pain since you have more to tend to on the grill and you REALLY risk over cooking them. Rinse all the lamb under cold water and pat dry with a paper towel. Lay all the pieces closely together on a large platter with the cut side of the riblets facing up.

Lightly salt and pepper one side of the lamb. Using a sharp paring knife, stab each piece once in the thickest, meatiest area. With a small spoon and your fingers, add about 1/2 teaspoon of the marinade into the hole. Rub half of the remaining herb paste into the lamb. Flip the pieces over and repeat. Set in the fridge for at least two hours but not more than four, uncovered.

One hour before cooking remove the lamb from the fridge; get your fire going. I've recently been experimenting with cooking only with wood. It's great because you get a real hot fire and it winds up being easier to manage in terms of heat and length of burn. However, it does take some management and as I lost attention to it yesterday it wound up nearly burning out. Have no fear though - throw another log on the fire and it's up and ready in 15 minutes.

Put the lamb on the grill over the fire. You don't want high flames here so wait until it's died down a bit. The lamb will cook fast...assuming you want it rare to medium rare. If not, stop reading this recipe and go to McDonald's. Sear each piece about 2 minutes on each side - you be the judge based on chop thickness - and remove to the cool side of the grill. My buddy Jim grilled his radicchio shortly thereafter. In the interim, Bailey The Bad Dog decided to lap up the butter off the table - a good half stick of some nice Icelandic Smjör while we screwed around with the lamb.

I was wondering where he'd went.

Lou's Most Excellent Insalata Caprese

There's really nothing to make here: you either have good tomatoes, basil, mozzarella and olive oil or you don't. Any one of these four legs of the stool go missing and it all falls down.

For this I used three different types of heirloom tomatoes (even the Roma's were an heirloom variety). Any good farmers market will have them this time of year; I got mine at Whole Foods since the damned Dupont Farmers Market is open on Sunday and not Saturday, which is when I went shopping. At least I tried to go local.

Buffalo mozzarella works best for this dish but if you can't find it choose your best cow's milk variety. Cut the cheese fairly thick and let sit on a cutting board for about 5 minutes to let residual liquid drain off. Cut the tomatoes to the same thickness as the cheese and stack them how you please. Sprinkle JUST A LITTLE flake-style sea salt over the tomatoes, drizzle with extra virgin olive oil, and garnish with whole basil leaves.

These flavors carry their own. This is one dish were less is, in fact, more.

Lou's Most Excellent Mojito

The summer mojito is typically some sick concoction of corn syrup, artificial lime juice (if you're lucky) and cheap rum. It's too bad because when you offer a mojito to someone they'll say, "Ugh." Not mine.

In fact, my brothers out in Arizona, who are beer drinkers, wanted me to make something summery for them and I whipped up my take (which really isn't a take) on the mojito. A few weeks before I was bartending a friends party and this was the signature drink.

Over ice, on a hot and humid summer day, this is great drinkin' from inside an a/c'd house looking out at all the suffering fools who decided to brave it. Like those who decide to go for a run in 95 degree heat or some stupid shit like that.

[Makes one, 16 ounce mojito, which is all you may need. Like, since when does one measure booze in 'cups'?]

1/3 cup dark, aged rum
1 lime
1 large sprig fresh mint leaves, separated from stalk
Club soda (at least 8 oz)
Simple syrup (1 cup water:1 cup sugar, boiled till dissolved, cooled to room temp)
1 TBS granulated sugar
Ice

Roll the lime to soften and cut it in half.

In a 16 ounce tall, sturdy glass, add the mint leaves, sugar, and squeeze half a lime into this. Using a pestle or a muddler, grind the mint leaves into the sugar/lime juice until the leaves appear bruised and the liquid from the mixture turns a little brown. Do your best not to mash the leaves, you just want to bruise them up. This should take about 30 seconds.

Add the other lime half and push it with your muddler, further adding more juice from the lime. Top to the top with ice and then add the rum and about 2 TBS of simple syrup. Top this with club soda and mix with a spoon or whatever is around your person (often, this is the knife with which I cut the lime with). You'll need to use an agitating motion as you won't be able to stir due to the contents. If not sweet enough, add more simple syrup.

Drink immediately and often........or at least until your teeth get numb.

You can make these in bulk too. I've done pitchers of mojito's and this works quite well. The modification is to just not add the club soda until you serve each glass. In other words, mash it all up and pour into a pitcher, add rum, then some ice to keep cold. To each glass just throw a lime half into it along with the ice etc. etc. etc....

Lou's Most Excellent Kabob Tagliatelle

What started out as an idea for grilled spaghetti turned into this. "This" turned out to be quite good but I'm still going to work on the grilled spaghetti concept too.

On Sunday I made some killer kabobs at my folks' place. Tenderloin, shrimp, scallop, onion, bell pepper, mushroom, and squash. For four people - with an Italian sausage and calamari starter - it was way too much but that's how we do it. Fittingly, mom gave me a bunch of the left overs.

Reheating kabobs is flat-out lousy. The veggies get mushy, the meat over cooks, and it's never as satisfying as them coming right off the grill. Who in their right mind really likes reheated kabobs? Thus: do not look at left over kabobs as left over kabobs but rather the base ingredients for something else.

After four days of not having pasta, I wanted pasta. Friends' comments regarding grilling spaghetti revealed that this wasn't going to work on my grill. My grill basket was pretty rusted out and I was guessing a non-stick surface was more than somewhat necessary. Too much oil would have caused a lot of flare-ups so I decided to just pan fry.

1 pound tagliatelle pasta
Kabob leftovers
Other additions in your fridge (I used salt cured olives and grilled asparagus)
Extra virgin olive oil
2 garlic cloves, minced
Parmesan cheese
Salt & pepper

Boil the pasta as per directions on the package, minus two minutes. Drain, run under cool water, and then set aside in cool water.

Separate the meat from the veggies in the kabobs. Cut each piece in half, if not quarters, so that each piece is now about the size of a quarter.

Drain the pasta in a colander and set aside.

Heat a very large skillet to medium-high heat. Add about 3 TBS of olive oil and the garlic all at once, sizzle for about 15 seconds, then dumb the veggies and other add-ins in. Continually toss for about 3 minutes, move to one side of the skillet, and then add the meats to the other side. Saute for about 3 - 5 more minutes to warm up the meats. Combine all and then remove to a clean plate.

Add about 3 TBS of olive oil to the pan and wait for the oil to "shimmer." Once this happens, add the drained pasta all at once, quickly toss, and let sit undisturbed for about 2 minutes. Toss quickly and sit another 2 minutes. Repeat this for 5 cycles; the pasta should start to brown.

Add in the veggies and toss to mix, cook an additional 3 - 4 minutes. Plate immediately and garnish with shaved Parmesan. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Lou's Most Excellent Cucumber Gin & Tonic

Gin and tonic is that drink that your drunk aunt on your dads side would always get. As the evenings would wear on, the more she asked for them, the more they got diluted down by her daughter-in-law.

No need for a snarky remark about how dirty the house or misbehaved the kids are, right?

Here's an update to the G&T. I was inspired by this from Hendrick's gin : they suggest you garnish the G&T with a cucumber slice.

Why not add the cucumber into it?

Try it: you'll like it. A lot. It becomes our drink of the summer when it's just too damned hot.


2 English (seedless) cucumbers, coarsely peeled, quartered and chopped*
Gin
Tonic
Soda water
Salt

In a blender or food processor, add the cucumber, ½ cup of cold water, and a big pinch of salt. Liquify for about 1½ - 2 minutes. Strain the pulp through a mesh strainer and reserve the juice; discard the pulp. Do not force the pulp through the strainer as you just want the juice.

In you favorite G&T glass fill to the top with ice. Follow these ratios:

1 part gin
1 part cucumber juice
1 part tonic
1 part soda

Stir to mix and serve. The juice will also keep in the fridge for about 3 days. Dot experiment with these ratios too; I find that 2 parts tonic gives that extra fizz but then adds more tonic flavor hence why I add soda. Get the flavor you like and have fun doing it.

*Figure about 1 cucumber for 2 -3 drinks, pending how big you make them.