Lou's Most Excellent Spanish Eggs

"Do you know how to fry an egg?" asked Eduardo.

And there I was, being challenged, in my own kitchen. The talk of making omelet's and fritata's with lots of olive oil had been discussed at length up to this point. This man knows his olive oils and he definitely is telling me he knows how to fry an egg. I'm struggling. I'm thinking.

"But of course. You, uh, you know, uh....use a lot of olive oil. About this much," and I pinch my two fingers together to about 1/8 an inch.

"No, no," he replies. And he takes his thumb and index finger and and spreads them to a width of 1/2 an inch. That's a lot of oil.

In fact, in Spanish, the equivalent saying of "he can't make a piece of toast" is "he can't fry an egg." Everyone in Spain knows how to fry an egg.

They take it up one level. And when you fry an egg Spanish style, you get it.

Eggs
Extra virgin olive oil
Sea salt

In a non stick pan - this will really help - pour about a 1/4 to 1/2 inch of olive oil into it. Heat it up to medium high: add about two drops of water to the pan while heating. When they begin to pop your oil is ready. Do not get it to smoke point but to just near.

Add the eggs. Here I put two in some small bowls and poured in together - it was a little easier since I was making four.

They'll sizzle pretty hard. Take your spatula and loosen them from the bottom and lap the hot oil over the top of the eggs. Gently swirl the pan to get the same effect.

These will cook fast - perhaps in less than a minute. When the whites look set, using a slotted spoon, remove from the oil, plate, and add some sea salt.

Dive in, savor the runny, hot - but not set - yolk. Serve with crusty bread to pick up all that stuff on the plate. Yummy.

Lou's Most Excellent Cast Iron Steak

Much like what I did in my Steaked Salad recipe, this takes it to a new level and is good for small cuts of steak...such as that from buffalo.


Buffalo NY Strip steaks, about ¾ inch thick
Butter
Salt & Pepper (or Montreal steak seasoning)

...one hour before cooking.......

Remove the steaks from the fridge, quick rinse under cold water and pat dry with paper towels. Trim some of the visible fat off the steaks, about a scant ¼ cup worth, and reserve. Sprinkle generously with salt and pepper or the steak seasoning. Set steaks on a wire rack and let sit for one hour, uncovered, room temperature.

Preheat the cast iron skillet to medium for 5 minutes. Add the reserved fat and "render" it for about 10 minutes, meaning, gently cook the liquifying fat out of the solids. Discard the solids keeping the liquid fat in the pan.

Crank the heat up to medium-high. [For what it's worth, my stoves burners go up to 19,000 BTU so medium-high on mine might be high or medium on yours.] As soon as the fat begins to smoke, add 1 TBS of butter per steak. It will immediately bubble and start to brown. Get ready.....

Add the steaks and try not to get fat burns on your arms doing this; tongs are advised. Sizzle for two minutes; tilt the pan to swirl the fat around.

Rotate the steaks to their sides as seen in the pictures - cook like this for about 30 seconds on each side (lateral ends excluded).

Flip the steak to the uncooked side and cook for an additional minute, tilting the pan to ensure equal fat distribution. When removing the steaks, swirl the top of the steak in the pan quickly to soak up some fat.


Voila.

Lou's Most Excellent Breakfast Tacos

Few things other than this can start your day any better.

Breakfast tacos are a funny thing. They're either great or absolutely lousy, with the latter being the usual case here in DC (assuming you can get them to start with). Super easy to make, a taco like this is immensely satisfying. I ate two - I could'a eaten four more.

The tortilla is what really makes or breaks these things. Fresh, flour tortillas (fajita sized) work great. However, if you have access to fresh corn tortillas, give those a shot. We used a brand (corn) from La Tortilla Factory. They're the best packaged corn tortilla's I've come across.

Cooking potatoes for breakfast is also a pain: they take too damned long. Here I've made the potato chunks a little smaller and cooked with the onion, over medium heat and covered, to speed the cooking. It cut the time in half.

This is also a great breakfast to feed a small army who stayed over. Very scalable.

You can add other stuff to these things too. Breakfast meats (chorizo, breakfast sausage, ham, bacon) go great in them but don't go overboard - it's easy to over load these things.

[For four good sized tacos.]

5 eggs (I used 5 whites and one whole egg)
1 medium red skinned potato, coarsely peeled and chopped into ¼" chunks
1 small onion, cut into ¼" chunks
1 whole pickled Jalapeno (or 8 presliced ones), diced
1 TBS canola oil
½ can (8 oz) refried beans, reheated according to directions
Grated cheddar cheese
4 flour or corn tortillas
Salt & pepper
Picante sauce or favorite salsa

In a large, non-stick skillet, add 1 TBS of canola oil over medium heat. Add the the potato and onion, toss in oil, sprinkle with a pinch of salt, and saute for about 5 minutes uncovered. Add the Jalapeno pepper, toss, and cover with a small, domed lid and let cook for another 4 - 5 minutes.
Meanwhile....

Preheat (over medium) a small skillet that can hold the tortillas. As that's going on.....

Beat the eggs together with a pinch of salt and a few cranks of pepper.
When the potatoes/onions are done add to the pan and scramble together.

Reheat the tortillas in the small skillet, one at a time, and set aside covered in a clean kitchen towel.

Spread a layer of beans on the tortilla, top with a generous helping of eggs, and top with grated cheese. Add picante/salsa/hot sauce to your content.

Feed the dog when you're finished.

Lou's Most Excellent Steaked Salad

I'm trying to watch it with not just how much I'm eating, but what it is that's actually going down my gullet. Two chins are enough.

Change gears here. I love red meat. Steak, BBQ, burgers, anyway that you cook a cow I'm likely to like. The problem with red meat is this little thing called saturated fats, which leads to a host of problems later on in life as I'm oh so slowly (and sometimes quickly) finding out.

Come the Italians to the rescue, and it's not olive oil or anything Mediterranean mind you. God I love my ancestral country. They've got an answer for everything. Piedmontese Beef. I'm telling you, the first time that Pam The Butcher at Wagshal's told me about it I didn't believe it. Pointing to an ink jet print out on the display case I figured it was fraudlent. How can beef - prime beef at that - be lower in saturated fats, cholesterol, etc. The way it's told is that it's better for you than skinless chicken breasts. The cows are bred to be leaner, and the way they're fed, managed, etc. leads to a leaner cut...even when that cut is considered prime by USDA standards.

None of this makes sense. But I'm buying it because a) it tastes great and b) we'll know soon enough as soon as I get my cholesterol tested again.

And yes, the shit ain't cheap. Sorry. NY strips run around $25/pound (which is what prime usually goes for) while sirloin is around $18/lb. But how much is your health worth? [You obviously don't have to use Piedmontese beef here - any good quality NY strip will work.]

Steak Salad - a good, healthy, and satisfying one at that. Serves two.

1 one pound trimmed, Piedmontese NY strip
2 TBS Montreal steak seasoning*
1 TBS canola oil
6oz of your favorite bagged/packaged salad mix (spinach/frisee/arugula/mache)
1 good tomato, cut into eighths.
1 small shallot, minced
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 TBS extra virgin olive oil
1 TSP high quality balsamic vinegar
1 TBS really stinky blue cheese, finely crumbled
Salt & pepper

*You can usually buy this prepackaged in the spice aisle. If you don't have any, as I didn't, mix your own using 2 TBS of sea salt, 1 TBS coarse ground black pepper, 2 TSP crushed red pepper flakes, 1 TSP cracked fennel seed, 1 TSP dried garlic, 1 TSP hot paprika, 1 TSP dried rosemary and 1 TSP dried thyme.

Two hours before serving, take the steak out, rinse and pat dry, and then generously coat with the steak seasoning. Set the steak on a wire rack and let sit at room temperature, uncovered and undisturbed, for two hours.

Preheat your oven to 400 F.

Rinse and dry your lettuce mix. Set in fridge to keep cool.

Preheat a cast iron skillet over medium-high heat for about 5 - 7 minutes. You want this searingly hot. Meanwhile....

In a large bowl add the olive oil, balsamic, shallot, garlic, a generous pinch of salt and more-than-a-few cranks of fresh black pepper. Vigorously mix with a whisk.

Add the canola oil to the pan, wait till it shimmers, then add the steak. It should immediately sizzle to the point where you feel slightly uncomfortable being near it and/or questioning my judgement. Cook about 2 minutes on the first side, flip, then place the pan in the oven. Cook in the oven for about 4 minutes. This will give you a rare steak, which is what you (should) want. Remove the pan from the oven and set aside, steak still in the pan.

Add the salad to the dressing and lightly toss to coat. Add the tomato and blue cheese crumbles and fold in. Set the salad into large bowls.

Slice the steak to your desired thinness (thin works better than than thick). Place on top and enjoy.

Goes good with a nice crusty bread; you could even make a sub out of the whole mix. A wrap too.

Lou's Most Excellent Faux Fond

Fond is necessary for any hearty sauce development. Fond is that stuff that sticks to the bottom of a pan after you've seared meats; the brown and black bits that you then add liquid to so it dissolves and then incorporates into the sauce that comes after it.

With non-stick pans, making fond is nearly impossible. And if you do/can with a non-stick pan, you're eating Teflon along with it since you heated the pan too high.

I was making a Carbonade the other day and the only large Dutch oven I have is non-stick. Stuck with not being able to make fond, I figured that since all fond is is burnt meat, why not just burn some meat bits.

What I did was mince some fat and meat - about 2 TBS. I kept these bits in the pan as I browned all the other meats, thus making very crispy, burnt meat bits.I threw in a couple of larger pieces (dime sized) for good measure.

Seems to have worked.

Lou's Most Excellent (Adult) Chicken & Rice

The reasons why our mothers made chicken and rice - that classic cream o'mushroom + rice + chicken mix - are simple. It was quick, easy, and could cheaply feed an army of hungry kids.

It's a guilty pleasure to us all, still. No one wants to admit they love White Trash Cuisine but this dish is one of the hallmarks.

I was mouth-agape/appalled at Paula Deen's take on this. No where does she have fresh anything (except the onion) and to top it all off, you use precooked chicken in it. To her credit, though, to give her dish some pseudofresh crunch she adds in water chestnuts...canned, of course. It's probably the only thing with crunch that comes in a can but I thought it was a neat addition. Still, welcome to the sad state (or future) of American cooking.

This one here, folks, is good enough to feed to guests and doesn't take too much work. You'll need a very large pan for this, either a roasting pan or a 10 x 15. This will not fit in a 9 x 13.

And yes, it still uses canned soup.

1 eight-part cut whole chicken*
1 large yellow onion, finely chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
1 can Progresso Creamy Mushroom Soup
1 can Campbell's Condensed (of course) Cream of Celery Soup
2 cups Jasmine rice
1½ cups dry white wine
10 Shitake mushrooms, stems removed and sliced into ½" strips
8 carrots, peeled and cut into 1" chunks
4 rutabagas, peeled and cut into ½" cubes
6 parsley sprigs, leaves minced
2 thyme sprigs, leaves minced
3 ounces sliced water chestnuts, rinsed and drained
1 TBS butter
Extra virgin olive oil
Salt
Pepper

* You can buy whole chickens precut if you want to save time.

Preheat your oven to 325.

Rinse and pat dry the chicken parts. Generously salt and pepper the pieces. In a large skillet add the butter and heat to medium high. Brown the chicken parts, 2 - 3 at a time, for about 3 minutes each or until the skin has browned. For the legs brown each side. Set pieces aside.

[If you notice in my picture, the leg bone near the ankle is exposed. You can do this by cutting a ring around the ankle of the leg prior to cooking with a very sharp knife so you cut through the tough, white tendons. What results is a big, mega-tender, meltingly delicious ball of chicken meat on the end of the bone.]

In a large bowl add the two soups together, the parsley and thyme, and 10 ounces of water (one Campbell's can). Stir to mix and set aside.

Turn the heat down to medium and add about 1 TBS of olive oil and the onions. Saute for about 8 minutes, until the onions are nicely yellowed and near translucent. Add the garlic and saute for 30 seconds, then add the rice and stir to mix for two minutes.

Add the white wine and simmer an additional two minutes and then the carrots, rutabagas, water chestnuts. Saute one more minute and then add the soup mixture. Increase heat to high and bring to a boil.

Lightly butter the roasting pan. Pour in the rice/soup mixture into the pan and spread evenly. Set the chicken pieces, skin side up, on top of the rice with the larger pieces toward the ends of the pan. Cover with foil and bake for 50 minutes.

Voila.

[Or, in Deenish, "VOH-WAH LAH!"]

Lou's Most Excellent Four Figgy Chicky

And there I saw them, probably the last ones I'll see for awhile: fresh figs.

I love fresh figs. Plain, wrapped in melon, served with cheese, hot, cold, you name it. If there were a natures candy, these would be it.

While perusing through The Silver Spoon, I found a recipe for chicken stuffed with mushrooms, ham, and mascarpone. Looked pretty tasty but it a) required two ovens to really get it going and b) didn't have figs.

With some modifications, here's what I came up with. The amounts, funny enough, are pretty easy to remember. And while the recipe looks long this actually comes together pretty fast.

4 boneless chicken breasts
4 fresh figs
4 slices cooked ham
4 large mushrooms
4 TBS mascarpone
4 sprigs fresh parsley
4 TBS butter
4 garlic cloves
¼ cup kosher salt
A lot of toothpicks

Brine the chicken: In a two quart bowl add 1 quart of cold water and the salt. Smash the garlic cloves with the flat end of a knife (it's OK to keep the skins on) and add to the brine. Stir to dissolve the salt.

Rinse the chicken under cold water and pat dry. Cut off the tenderloin, if present, from the breasts. Take each breast and slice horizontally to about ½ inch from the end and unfold. Sandwich each breast between two pieces of wax paper and pound with a mallet until the chicken is about ¼ - ½ inch thick. Don't beat the shit out of it; be gentle in your pounding since you don't want to tear it.

Place the chicken in the brine - tenderloins too as they're your snack while cooking - and set in the fridge for 20 minutes. Meanwhile....

...remove the stems from the mushrooms (and discard) and slice each mushroom into 10 even pieces and mince the parsley. In a skillet add 2 TBS of butter and bring to a bubble. Add the mushrooms and a big pinch of salt and gently saute over medium heat just until the mushrooms begin to turn brown. Add the parsley, stir up for about 30 seconds, remove the mushrooms and set aside keeping the leftover fat in the pan. Meanwhile...

...take each fig and slice into four, round pieces. In a small skillet add 1 TBS of butter and bring to a bubble over medium heat. Add the figs and let brown on each side for about 4 minutes; you should get a nice crust on these. Remove the figs and set aside.

The dog, at this point, knows something good is going on and assumes the feed-me-I'm-you're-best-buddy-pose.


Now, here's where the bitch of this process comes in: stuffing the breasts. Lay each breast flat on a cutting board. On one side of the breast add a slice of ham, ¼ of the mushrooms, ¼ of the figs, and 1 TBS of mascarpone. Fold the other half of the chicken over and using toothpicks - and a lot of creativity - seal the chicken to make a pouch. By my fourth one I finally got this to kind'a work.


Further proof it doesn't have to look good to taste good. You could also use kitchen twine to do this (as my buddy John suggested this morning) but I wasn't thinking. Next time I'll most likely do that. Note that I'm using big toothpicks - they're actually small bamboo spears about 5" long that you can find in many Japanese markets. Very handy.

In the same skillet you cooked the mushrooms add the last TBS of butter (extra if there isn't enough from the mushroom saute) and brown the butter over medium heat. Cook the breasts two at a time; if your skillet is large enough do four but you want at least 1 inch between pieces. Each should cook about 3 - 5 minutes per side; cover the chicken while cooking so it retains the heat. Since your chicken is pretty thin and the insides are a little warm too it will cook fast. If you have space in the pan throw a few of the tenderloins in just to cook them.

Remove the toothpicks prior to eating (duh) and serve with pasta, if you like.

Lou's Most Excellent Roasted Hatch Chilies

It's that MOST, won-der-ful tiiiiiime, of the year.....

It's Hatch Chili Pepper season and usually here in DC we get screwed on the deal: in the past we've smuggled them out of Texas by checking a case of them in as luggage...much to the strange stares of everyone.

But this year I FOUND some at Whole Foods and quickly swiped most of them up, screwing anyone else that might want some. So you may be asking, "Lou, what's so special about these Hatch Chilies?"

Well, it's a terroir thing: they only come from Hatch, New Mexico and there's something in the heat, soil, handling of Anaheim peppers there that turn them into Hatch Chilies. They're hot yet buttery smooth and form the foundation of all good things needing chili peppers. From enchiladas to scrambled eggs these things add that extra something special.

But before they can be eaten they must be roasted, and that's why we're here today.

Roasting Hatch Chilies, or any pepper for that matter, is pretty simple. You can do this in an oven, over a gas stove, or the real tasty way by over a raging fire. The fire is preferred because what you want to do is get the peppers to sear and blister; the skin of the pepper isn't too pleasant on the palate. Also, roasting them bring out their great flavors.

Wash the peppers first and get a kitchen towel that's soaked and squeezed damp in water. You'll need one towel per 10 peppers. Set up a little workstation as such:

With the fire now raging in the grill, put your peppers on. They'll start to pop and smoke up a bit almost immediately. You want to char these little bastards pretty good but not cook them through. All you're really trying to do is get the skins off. They're going to blacken pretty good but there will be some peppers - notably the curved ones - that just won't fully blacken in some parts. Don't force the matter because you'll wind up cooking it through instead.

When nicely toasted, place the peppers in the center of the damp towel and fold the towel over them in thirds. Soon you'll see steam coming off the towel and the smell of fresh roasted peppers will fill the air...even if you're outside. Allow the peppers to cool to room temperature underneath the towel. Start your next batch if you've got 'em.

When done, you can use the peppers immediately or store for later use. Prior to using the peppers you'll need to remove the skins, which should come just right off. If storing, put anywhere from 2 - 6 peppers in a Ziplock bag (skins on), remove as much air as possible, and freeze until you're ready.

Lou's Most Excellent Grilled Lamb

Where your cute-soon-to-be-delicious lamb was born, raised, and ate affects just about everything about how Mary's Little Meal will taste. Firstly, a 'lamb' by most countries definitions is a sheep that is less than one year of age. Some countries get more specific; Australians further subcategorize lamb by how many teeth they have prior to slaughter. Lamb from Australia and New Zealand is often cheaper and has a more gamey taste than American lamb, which tends to impart more beef-like characteristics and is milder. Icelandic lamb - and there are a lot of them for which I can personally attest - sort of falls in the middle between the American and Aussie/NZ lamb. It's milder than their southern cousins but also leaner than the fatter US compatriots.

For Sunday dinner I decided on lamb as we were having Jim and his son Sam over. Lamb chops and ribs are easy to cook on the grill and prep'd in this manner represent a great, summery dish along side tomato/cucumber/feta salad, corn on the cob, and grilled raddichio. I wanted to do all ribs but some jackass who went to the Dupont Farmers Market that morning decided to buy nearly all of the ribs from Virginia Lamb before 9:15...only 15 minutes into the markets open. I thus was only able to get a 10 rib rack.

Either way, I picked up a few chops to top things off.

The "marinade" is quite simple:

1/3 cup of extra virgin olive oil + extra
1 sprig of fresh mint
5 - 8 fresh basil leaves
2 sprigs of fresh thyme
5 sprigs of parsley
2 cloves of garlic

Separate the herb leaves from their stems and put in a big pile on your cutting board. Add about 1 TBS of olive oil to this and using a rocking motion mince the herbs until none are larger than 1/8 of an inch. [By adding some oil to the mincing procedure this not only helps keep the herbs green but makes it a little easier by keeping them together.] Put this paste into a small container and add the rest of the olive oil. Mince the garlic and add to the herb mix. Set aside for 30 minutes.

Prepare the lamb. Cut the lamb rack into riblets of two each. Some like to do each individually; this is a pain since you have more to tend to on the grill and you REALLY risk over cooking them. Rinse all the lamb under cold water and pat dry with a paper towel. Lay all the pieces closely together on a large platter with the cut side of the riblets facing up.

Lightly salt and pepper one side of the lamb. Using a sharp paring knife, stab each piece once in the thickest, meatiest area. With a small spoon and your fingers, add about 1/2 teaspoon of the marinade into the hole. Rub half of the remaining herb paste into the lamb. Flip the pieces over and repeat. Set in the fridge for at least two hours but not more than four, uncovered.

One hour before cooking remove the lamb from the fridge; get your fire going. I've recently been experimenting with cooking only with wood. It's great because you get a real hot fire and it winds up being easier to manage in terms of heat and length of burn. However, it does take some management and as I lost attention to it yesterday it wound up nearly burning out. Have no fear though - throw another log on the fire and it's up and ready in 15 minutes.

Put the lamb on the grill over the fire. You don't want high flames here so wait until it's died down a bit. The lamb will cook fast...assuming you want it rare to medium rare. If not, stop reading this recipe and go to McDonald's. Sear each piece about 2 minutes on each side - you be the judge based on chop thickness - and remove to the cool side of the grill. My buddy Jim grilled his radicchio shortly thereafter. In the interim, Bailey The Bad Dog decided to lap up the butter off the table - a good half stick of some nice Icelandic Smjör while we screwed around with the lamb.

I was wondering where he'd went.

Lou's Most Excellent Kitchen Tips: Kosher Salt

Mistakes happen, and a common one is the substitution of table salt for kosher salt.

First, there is nothing really "kosher" about kosher salt. The salt gets its name because it's used in the koshering process, and in terms of meats it's used to pull the blood out of meat to make them kosher. Now, I'm not Jewish so I'm totally ignorant of kosher this and that. But, that's what I know. [Also, kosher salt tends not to have iodide in it too.]

As this picture shows, however, there is a definite size difference between a kosher salt flake and your typical table salt crystal. The kosher flake is that dandruff looking thing on the left. If you can't see the salt crystal, it's near the pen tip.


Since the kosher salt is bigger and "flakier" you get less actual salt per volumetric measure than you do with table salt; think of how a cup of lead weighs more than a cup of water. Thus, if you just use regular table salt in place of kosher salt, get ready for a dose of the Pacific Ocean in your mouth.

To substitute table salt (or vice versa, kosher), use 1/3 to 1/4 less table salt than kosher. The box of kosher salt will also tell you how much less to use and this can vary by brand so pay attention. In general, I use 1/3 less and if things aren't salty enough, I just add more salt at the end.

Lou's Most Excellent Kitchen Tips: Grilled Pizza

I make a pretty mean grilled pizza. It's really not that hard to do if you have a grill and some gumption. It does take some attention to detail as even slight variations can really mess this up.

The following tips are more of a guide for grilling pizza rather than an actual recipe. I've included a dough and sauce recipe that I've used many, many times that works well. However, if you have access to a local wood fired pizza shop, see if you can buy some dough from them. They've spent the better part of their career perfecting their dough and will likely sell it too you cheaper than what it would cost to buy the ingredients.

Avoid pizza dough from your local grocery, including Trader Joe’s. These have been handled a bit too hard and you may not know how old they are (a dough shouldn’t be held at fridge temp for more than three days). What results from grilling these is a chewy, undercooked crust that’s often difficult to work with.

It is important for the dough to have a high gluten content - this allows you to stretch the dough easily. Since you're aiming for a thin crust that's critical. Typical high-gluten flours are general "all purpose" types.

I cannot stress that enough: thin crust. As in nearly ½ to ¼ inch thin. With a relaxed, high gluten crust this won't be difficult.

Everything you want on your pizza should be ready in advance and within easy reach. From rolling the dough to topping to on the grill should take no more than 5 minutes. An assembly line is ideal.

Ingredients should be at or near room temperature too.

Equipment: cutting board, thin cookie sheet or pizza paddle, large metal spatula, grill tongs, grill mitt.

The grill. The hotter the fire the better. Gas grills, because they’re prone to condensation and do not get as hot, are not ideal for cooking pizza but do the job. Make sure it’s been on for at least 30 minutes before using it.

A BIG indirect fire is what you want, meaning, the coals/fire is on one half of the grill and the other half is empty.

Use real wood if you can and quartered splits if you can find them (hickory preferred). Splits last longer and burn hotter. If using briquettes use a lot of them - about 8 - 10 pounds. Lump charcoal is great but the fire will burn out quickly; be prepared to continually feed it if using lump.

Count on at least an hour to have the fire ready; longer if using splits.

Do not use a pizza stone on the grill unless the stone says you can. Most stones are not rated for temperatures above 600 degrees.

When rolling the pizza dough be generous with flour to prevent sticking to the rolling surface and easier manipulation on the paddle. Corn meal also works to prevent sticking; use this when done shaping the dough.

Shaping. I tend to make my pizzas in the shape of a 14 inch oblong “football.” Roundness works but I find that with the haste of getting this done shape isn't so much a worry. I've made pizza shapes that would make Picasso envious. A) It's still gonna taste the same and B) gives it some more homemade character.

Also make sure the crust isn’t too big. You should make it so you have at least 2 - 3” of clearance from the sides of the grill to allow easier manipulation and more even heat distribution around it.

Since the pizzas are small count on one pizza per person. This is part of the fun: you're making multiple pizzas so you can experiment with different toppings and combinations.

You CAN have too much when it comes to toppings. Decorate your pizzas thinly. Now is not the time for extra cheese, double pepperoni, sausage, ham, meatballs and extra sauce. Go thin on the sauce, the cheese should just barely cover the sauce, only about 6 - 8 thin slices of pepperoni, etc. Limit overall toppings to four max.

Toppings like sausage, bacon, shrimp, meatballs, chicken, broccoli and others that require long cook times should be precooked. Cut large chunks into bite sized pieces.

Force yourself to do just a classic cheese pizza first. This is the experiment and will give you a good gauge on how things are going for your baseline.

Some great combos:
- Cheese, tomato sauce, pepperoni, fresh garlic, mushroom
- Cheese, olive oil, fresh garlic, dried oregano
- Cheese, ricotta, tomato sauce OR olive oil, spinach leaves, fresh garlic
- Cheese, ricotta, tomato sauce, sausage
- Cheese, Parmesan, pepperoni, tomato sauce, cherry tomatoes, arugula (add this when finished)
- Classic Neopolitan (mozzarella, sauce, basil, olive oil drizzle)
- Classic Margherita “DOCG” (buffalo mozzarella, crushed tomatoes, basil leaves, olive oil drizzle)

Cheeses. Mozzarella (both regular and buffalo), provolone, fontina, ricotta, Parmesan all work great. A favorite blend of mine is a 75/25 mix of mozzarella and provolone.

If you have a big active fire in the grill it's not ready yet. You want the fire to die down some to mostly hot, glowing embers. Fire = burnt pizza. (Duh)

The pizzas will cook fast. Slide decorated the pizza onto the side of the grill with no coals and then close the lid for about 3 minutes. Open and using your spatula lift up the side closest to the coals; if it's browned rotate the pizza 180 degrees and close the lid again for 3 - 5 minutes. By now all the toppings should be melted. Let it set at room temp for about 2 minutes then serve immediately.

Troubleshooting
Pizza cooking slow. It's due to one or both of two things: pizza is too thick or the fire isn't hot enough. The corrections for this are easy...thinner crust or boost your fire.

Crust too thick and you can't thin it out. Low gluten content in the dough and there are a couple options here. Roll out the dough and place it on the grill with no toppings. After it's cooked some (bubbles will start to appear on the crust), flip it, and then decorate the pizza directly on the grill. You can also roll the dough out in between two sheets of parchment paper.

This is a bit tricky but it works well. When thin enough let it rest for about 5 minutes then peel off the parchment and place on the floured work surface. Work quickly.

Toppings melted, crust not crispy but chewy. You've got a low gluten crust most likely. A quick fix is to move the pizza over the fire when finished. This will crisp up the crust but will yield a pita-like consistency. If you don't say anything your guests won't know the difference.

Recipes

Lou's Most Excellent Pizza Dough

Before starting note this is an overnight recipe and you need a heavy duty electric mixer.

4½ cups all-purpose flour, sifted
1 packet instant yeast
2 TBS honey
2 TSP salt
Extra virgin olive oil

In 1.5 cups of babywarm water add the yeast, stir, and set aside for 10 minutes. If this does not begin to foam at the top after 10 minutes start over as your yeast is probably old or the water was too hot.

Combine the flour and salt in a mixing bowl and attach to your mixture with the dough hook(s). Add the yeast+water, honey, and 2 TBS of olive oil. Turn the mixture on low to combine. Now...pay attention.

The above is a very very very crucial step in pizza dough making. You don't want to overwork the dough here. If the mixer is "fighting" it too hard, meaning having a tough time, you need to add more water (if dry) or flour (if wet) by the tablespoon. The dough is done when it balls up into one solid lump and the hooks move it around the bowl. When that happens turn the mixer off for 10 - 15 minutes and let it "relax."

After this first 10 - 15 minutes turn the mixer back on for about 2 minutes. By now the dough should be somewhat of a solid clump - not too sticky, not too dry. It will have a wet appearance but will hold together. This will "feel right" almost by instinct so trust yourself here.

Plop the dough onto a floured work surface. Using a very sharp knife cut it into six equal parts and form balls out of them. Rub some olive oil over them, place on a large parchment lined cookie sheet, cover with plastic wrap and set at room temp for about 15 minutes. Place the cookie sheet in the fridge overnight.

The next day take the rounds out at least one hour before you plan to do anything with them.

Lou's Most Excellent Pizza Sauce

Simplicity is the key here so don't screw around with this too much. I don't add any sugar to my pizza sauce - it doesn't need it. If you want a sweet sauce just order Pizza Hut and call it an evening.

1 quart/box of crushed tomatoes (Pomi brand is my favorite)
3 cloves of garlic, finely minced
4 - 6 basil leaves, chiffoned
Extra virgin olive oil
Salt & pepper

Heat about 2 TBS of olive oil over medium heat in a 2 - 3 quart pot. Add the garlic and saute for about 30 seconds, then pour the tomatoes in and add the basil. Give about 4 big pinches of salt and a few cranks of pepper. Simmer for 30 minutes.

Lou's Most Excellent Kitchen Tips: Steak

With spring and summer coming I figured these tips would be handy.

There are eight USDA grades of meat: Prime, Choice, Select, Standard, Commercial, Utility, Cutter and Canner. The grading is done via visual inspection by a trained USDA inspector. Prime is the highest marbled grade and there are three gradations of Prime and Choice marbling (+, standard, and -). Choice and Select are what you find at most grocers. Standard and Commercial are usually reserved for store branded products. Everything below that is typically used in processed foods (think Slim Jim’s).

The cut used by inspectors to determine the grade is the rib eye.

The age of the cow has a direct effect on the marbling. The older the animal, the less marbling and the tougher the meat is.

Angus bulls (four of them) were first imported to the US in 1873 from Scotland. Black Angus (sometimes referred to Aberdeen) are from the original breed but due to cross breeding no original progeny are available today in the US. Red Angus have been selected out from the Black Angus population. Angus cattle are also hornless.

While the “Certified Angus Beef” label has been in use since 1978, Angus beef still must meet quality standards that have been set up for Angus and labeled “Certified Angus Beef” which are separate from USDA grading.

Kobe vs. Wagyu? Kobe is Wagyu. Wagyu in Japanese means “Japanese cattle.” Kobe is Wagyu from Kobe, Japan, which is so finely marbled some cuts look near white and go for $300+ per pound.

The first importation of Wagyu cattle into the US was in 1976: two Kumamoto Red Wagyu bulls and two Tottori black Wagyu. The next importation didn’t occur until 1993 and then 1994. American Wagyu have some resemblance to Kobe, but in this writers opinion doesn’t even come close. Worth $80 for four one ounce pieces?...........kind’a.

If you don’t know how to cook steak don’t bother with Wagyu. You really need to know what you’re doing.

The term "hanger steak" got its name from butchers who when cutting up the animal off a hanging meat hook always had this piece as the last one. It is the last piece "hanging."

Most taste tests have the rib eye coming in first for flavor and texture. Strip steaks, like the NY or Kansas City strip are often the close second. Filet mignons, while being the tenderest of cuts, do not have that beefy flavor you get from a rib eye or strip.

The rib eye comes from the rib roast, which is usually referred to as "prime rib." There is nothing "prime" about prime rib unless it is USDA prime. What the market calls "prime rib" is actually rib roast and is likely choice grade. . How "prime rib" got its incorrect name is probably due to choice cut rib roasts still costing a minor fortune.

Always rinse your steaks quickly under cold water and pat dry with paper towels prior to doing anything with them. Trace amounts of residual blood from the steak makes its way to the surface leaving a metallic tasting residue due to oxidation.

The best seasonings for steak are salt, fresh coarse pepper, and a little extra virgin olive oil. Garlic works too: just rub a cut clove on to it. Do not use minced garlic on the meat as it will burn while cooking and not taste good.

Remove your steaks from the fridge two hours prior to cooking. Generously salt and pepper and set them on a cooling rack uncovered at room temperature. This process mimics dry ageing. Rub with just a little olive oil prior to cooking so the steaks don’t stick to the grill.

Dry ageing is an easy way to add tenderness to your steaks. You can take a cheaper cut of meat and make it nearly taste a grade better if you do this 2 – 3 days prior to cooking. Set them in a fridge, uncovered, on a cooling rack over a plate. This is OK – you won’t get sick from it. They may start to look a little funky but don’t worry. For larger cuts of meat dry age times of 10 – 21 days are not unusual. Do not attempt this unless you have very controlled conditions which you likely don’t since the equipment is often specialized.

Contrary to popular belief both Ruth’s Chris and Morton’s wet age their beef, not dry. Wet ageing does not take as long (about half the time as dry), cheaper, and more economical since the steaks do not shrink as much. Nearly 90% of the “aged” meat on the market is wet aged. In this process, steaks are placed in plastic bags, vacuum sealed, and stored in the fridge for 7 – 10 days. The steak comes out tender but the flavor profile is not as intense as dry aged beef since the beef doesn’t shrink and concentrate flavors due to moisture loss.

Save marinating for cheap cuts. If you want additional flavors for your steaks make sauces and serve them on the side.

Cooking steak is more art than science. Too many variables exist: quality, cut, thickness, temp of steak, heat of grill or stove, outdoor temp if doing this outside, air flow over the grill, chef’s confidence, etc. This is something you just develop a green thumb for and one you can develop fast. Learn some basic principles outlined here and soon it will be effortless. You’ll soon become the King of Steaks.

The more variables you remove the more likely this will become reproducible.

Best way to cook a steak? Whatever tastes best to you.

My top choice is an open fire grill with lump charcoal and/or real wood. Lump charcoal or wood gives you a searing hot fire that’s much hotter than briquettes or propane. Light about 50% more charcoal than you think you need. The charcoal is ready when it’s just about to ashen on top. Place your grate about 3” from the fire and throw the steaks on 3 minutes later. Sizzle for 2 – 4 minutes, flip to a hot part of the grate, and sizzle 2 – 4 minutes more. Two minutes for flank steaks, 4 minutes for 1.5” rib eyes or filet mignons. Shoot down any flare ups with water as the burning oil/fat will affect the flavor albeit some folks are into that. Cooking time is dependent on steak thickness.

This method will give a very rare steak, pending thickness, but will be warm in the center if you let it sit out 2 hours prior to cooking. For more doneness, move the steaks to the other side of the grill where you don’t have a fire. Close the lid to just a crack and let them cook there.

Lump charcoal burns at around 1250 degrees Fahrenheit, hardwoods around 1100 – 1500 pending on wood and dryness, briquettes around 900, and a 36,000 BTU propane/natural gas grill around 600. All of these figures are highly dependent on airflow and design of the grill. The temperatures of the broilers at Ruth’s Chris approach 1800 while those at Morton’s are 800.

It takes a 36,000 BTU gas grill about 20 minutes to reach 600 degrees. It takes lump charcoal 30 minutes, from lighting to grill, to get to 1000 degrees. Think about that when considering how much time gas grills actually save.

Listen, the fact of the matter is that gas grills are for pussies. I don't care how big and shiny your "outdoor stove" is or how much you spent or how convenient you claim they are. You're a pussy, you know it, and just fess up to the fact you've got balls the size of peanuts. Us charcoal guys have a level of respect equivalent to that seen in pack animals and you're at the back of the pack cowering while we lead.

And your wife knows this too.

I like my steak served hot on my plate – I don’t go for this letting it rest at room temp for 5 minutes before dishing it up. Prior to plating I throw it back on the hot side of the grill for about 30 seconds on each side.

A cast iron pan is a fantastic way to cook steak too. No need for olive oil rub here either. Preheat your oven to 350 for one hour. Heat the pan up over medium high/high heat for about 8 - 10 minutes. Pour about 2 TBS of clarified butter per steak into the pan, let butter burn a little, then put the steak in, giving each steak at least 1” of room on all sides. Sizzle undisturbed 1 – 4 minutes, add 2 TBS more butter, and flip again. Remove pan from heat and place in oven for 8 – 12 minutes pending level of doneness desired.

Steaks only need to be flipped once and should be minimally manipulated while cooking. The reason is that the cooking process is melting the intramuscular fat that makes the meat tender. The more you fuck with the steak the more you screw that process up through squeezing and mushing it. You want the fat to melt and stay put where it melted. Never, never, never push the steak down onto the cooking surface while cooking it.

Testing doneness. You can use a meat thermometer but for that you need one where the temperature sensor is actually in the TIP of the instrument, such as a ThermaPen. Most meat thermometers have the sensor about 1” – 2” up from the tip. I use the “pinched finger” scale. Touch your thumb and index finger together and pinch the fleshy part of your skin in between them with your other hand – this is rare and if your steak feels like that you’re done. Middle finger to your thumb is medium and pinky to thumb is well done.

A steak will continue to slowly cook once removed from the heat for about 2 – 5 more minutes. Remember that. This is especially true with steaks cooked to the medium range.

If someone says they want it really rare or "mooing" (ugh...please...) and are absolutely adamant about it and making a scene...just do it. They’re either a) really serious or b) have a small dick. You'll know which by how much they eat of it.

Well done steaks are not worth cooking. If someone wants well done use a cheaper cut of meat and slather it with some kind of A1 product – they may even “ask for it by name.” It’s not usually their fault they’re like this: they’ve just never had a good steak. I’ve converted many well-done types to medium/medium rarers over the years by making them a good steak.

Lou's Most Excellent Skinny Omelet

I love a runny, egg over easy. The warm yolk covering my eggs and plate are great, especially when you have an ample bread product to mop it all up. Mmmmmm.

Unfortunately a single egg has about 220mg of cholesterol and current guidelines recommend that an adult consume no more than 300mg in a single day.  So, a three egg omelet cooked in butter with ham and cheese served along side a bagel loaded with cream cheese?  Maybe some bacon or sausage for good measure?   Do yourself a favor: don't do the math and just enjoy the glorious moment.

But back to my original recipe here.  I love a runny, egg over easy.  In fact, I like two of them.  Duck eggs preferred (these are WONDERFUL) to tell the truth but they're sometimes hard to find.  So this morning, having woken up with a mild hangover due to two gin & tonics followed by a Lou's Most Excellent Margarita courtesy of Manuel at Guapo's of Tenleytown, I needed help.

I needed eggs.

Here's a great way to get that runny yolk - from one egg - but the fullness of three.  Yes, yes, it's not the same as three whole eggs but it's as close as you might get.

3 eggs
Non-stick spray

Salt & Pepper

Heat a 6" non-stick skillet over medium heat for 5 minutes. Throw a few drops of water in and if they sizzle, you're ready. Give a light coating of non-stick spray, more if your skillet is a little older.

Crack one whole egg into one side of the skillet.  The egg should start to bubble upon hitting the pan.  Crack two egg whites into the other side.

With your spatula, GENTLY move the yolk-containing egg to the center of the pan while tilting in the opposite direction, allowing the runny whites to move to the other side.

Once the white has begun to fully set, break the yolk with your spatula and spread it down the middle of the frying egg.  Fold it along this line like an omelet and serve immediately.