LME™ Beefy Bolognaise

Becky and Aimee came to visit us here in France and two of the three nights we've had pasta. Don't get me wrong: I love pasta. But I found it kind'a funny that this was the case. Here's a Bolognaise I made yesterday which works well each time. Note: there's no sugar added to it since the carrots provide the needed sweetness.

This is super easy to make but takes some time; it's best to let it simmer for about 2 hours before eating it. Thus it's easy but not quick.

Genius, ah oui?

2 thin pork chops, bone in
1 pound ground beef
1½ yellow onions, chopped
4 medium carrots, diced into ¼" bits
3 large cloves garlic, minced
4.5 pounds pureed tomatoes
½ cup milk
Sea salt
Black pepper
Extra virgin olive oil

In a 4 quart pot add about ½ a cup (yes, half) of olive oil and heat to medium-high heat, ensuring the olive oil doesn't smoke. Lightly salt/heavily pepper the pork chops and fry on each side for about 45 seconds. They'll brown slightly. Remove and set aside.

Turn the heat down to medium and using a spatula scrape the pork chop bits off the bottom of the pot. Add the onions and carrots to the pot and saute for about 6 - 8 minutes, until softened. Add in the garlic and saute for an additional minute.

Now, here's where the this-is-a-bitch-part/i-didn't-sign-up-for-this-shit part comes in. Add in the ground beef and, using your spatula, chop up frequently. "Frequently" defined as every 5 seconds. Thus...constantly.

Until cooked through.

'Till it looks like this:






Sorry dude's and dudettes - this takes a full 5 minutes (OMG! A WHOLE FIVE FRIGGIN' MINUTES?!?! Lou! I have CHILDREN!).

This is what two glasses of wine are for.

When looking like the picture here, add in the tomato puree and milk, mix together, and then pork chops and parsley. Mix again and wait until it begins to bubble again. Turn heat to low, cover, and simmer for one hour.

Remove lid and taste: add more salt as needed. If that "something" is missing it's likely sugar. Add a TBS of sugar and see what happens. This said, you shouldn't need it. Keep the lid off and simmer for another hour.

Serve on your pasta of choice. Lot's of Parmesan works well too.

Lou's Most Excellent Quick Veal n' Vodka Cream Sauce

There's a difference between starting to cook and then getting drunk and starting off drunk and then starting to cook. Results will vary.

My SIL and her boyfriend were in town and we had a blast drinking the day away at an outdoor cafe in DC. Tiring out, it was time to do something for dinner and the plan was to do it at home. Her boyfriend is a real starch loving kind'a guy. Never met a potato or pasta he didn't like (except for a gratin he was none too fond of not long ago).

No added sugar needed here: the subtle sweetness comes from vanilla and the cream gives it a filling punch.

He had three servings of this. 'Nuff said?

1 pound ground veal
1 box Pomi strained tomatoes (26 ounces) or equivalent
2 - 3 TBS extra virgin olive oil
1 medium onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
½ cup heavy cream
1 TSP vanilla extract
1 TSP cayenne pepper
½ cup vodka
Salt

In a 3 quart saucepot heat the olive oil to medium. Saute the onions with two big pinches of salt for 5 minutes until they begin to become translucent, add the garlic and cook for 30 more seconds. Add in all the veal and using your spatula finely mince the veal; you'll have to keep doing this until the veal resembles fine, coarse bits. Continue until veal is cooked through.

Add in the tomatoes and stir to mix. Mix in the cream, vanilla, cayenne pepper, and about 1 TBS of salt. Slowly, while stirring, add in the vodka. Reduce heat to simmer and let sit, stirring occasionally, for 1 hour uncovered.

After one hour take a taste and add salt, if needed. Serve over your favorite pasta (tagliatelle in the pic) with lots of grated Parmesan.

Lou's Most Excellent Wayne's Lasagna

Who doesn't like a steaming pile of lasagna when it's 19 degree's outside?

(Who thought I was gonna say steaming pile of shit?)

My buddy Wayne made the best lasagna [WMK - and that's all you get]. His trick is to think of it like layers of pizza rather than layers of noodles with sauce and cheese. The addition of spicy sausage also helps. He and his wife then abandoned me here in Washington and I now have to fend for myself.

Too runny lasagna results for many factors. First and foremost is the use of excessive amounts of tomato sauce in the lasagna itself. Another are the noodles being overcooked and unable to absorb additional liquid during the cooking process; worse are your noodles putting back their excess moisture into the lasagna because of that. You can have too much cheese - particularly ricotta - too. I never thought I'd say such a thing but there ya' have it.

Here's my take on it. Make the sauce the day before and let it mellow in the fridge overnight. It makes the sauce not as sharp in the dish itself. The use of hearty amounts of mozzarella in the lasagna, not too much sauce, and "chunks" of ricotta help keep it intact and provide nice little pockets of surprises in each bite.

For the sauce:

2 boxes Pomi crushed tomatoes (26 ounces)
1 box Pomi strained tomatoes (26 ounces)
3 medium yellow onions, chopped
8 cloves garlic, sliced thin or minced
10 sprigs fresh parsley, minced
2 TBS kosher salt
1 TBS ground black pepper
1 TBS sugar
8 - 10 store (local Italian deli preferred) bought meatballs
Extra virgin olive oil

In a 4 quart sauce pot, saute the onion + 1 TBS of salt over medium heat in about 3 TBS of olive oil until near translucent...about 12 minutes. Add the garlic and saute an additional minute, then dump in the tomatoes. Add the remaining ingredients and simmer over low heat for about 2 hours. Remove from heat, cool to room temp, and cool in the fridge overnight.

For the lasagna:

Sauce from above
Five 18 x 8 inch long pasta sheets*
6 spicy Italian sausages, cooked and sliced into ½ inch pieces
6 cups whole milk ricotta cheese
30 oz whole milk mozzarella cheese
½ cup grated Parmesan cheese
¼ cup grated Pecorino-Romano cheese
1 egg
6 sprigs fresh parsley
1 TBS ground black pepper
2 TSP red pepper flakes

*If you can't find large sheets like this, smaller ones are OK - you just need enough sheets to make seven layers of lasagna.

Bring 7 quarts of salted cold water to a boil in an 8 quart pot. In another equal sized pot fill with cold water and set aside.

Boil the noodles, one at a time, for 2 minutes and immediately dunk into the cold water. Take care not to rip the noodles but if you do, no biggie. Dry the noodles on long pieces of wax paper.

in a large bowl add the ricotta, Parmesan and Pecorino cheeses, egg, parsley, black and red pepper and mix together to form a thick paste.

In a glass 13 x 9 pan, add about 1 cup of sauce to the bottom to lightly cover.

Add a noodle sheet and then about a half cup of sauce. Measure out about 1 cup of ricotta mix and dollop in heaping tablespoon amounts over the sheet. Take about 4oz of mozzarella and tear into chunks with your hands like string cheese and loosely dollop too. Sprinkle the equivalent of one sausage link over as well.

Repeat this six more times.

On the last layer just top with tomato sauce - about a cup. Remove the meatballs from the tomato sauce, halve, and then quarter each half. Spread the meatballs over the top of the lasagna, cover with foil, and bake at 350 for 50 minutes.

Reheat the sauce on the stove.

At T=50 check the lasagna - it should be bubbling along the sides. Sprinkle the remaining mozzarella over the top and cook for 10 more minutes.

Remove from the oven, let cool for 10 minutes, and serve with additional sauce on the table for those who want it.

Lou's Most Excellent Complexity Syrup

Simple syrup = 1 cup sugar + 1 cup water.

Complex syrup = see below.

It's complex but incredibly simple. This is a variation on the syrup used in the LME Poached Pear recipe but is likely more versatile.

Reason being is that you start with a sweet(er) wine.

I used this as a base for some whip cream tossed with strawberries. Quarter your berries and whip up the cream just before you get stiff peaks - you want to avoid stiff peaks here. Add about a TBS of Complex Syrup per ½ cup of cream whipped and gently mix in. Toss in the berries and you have a fantastic dessert. You can also use this:

- On other fruits
- As a sub for balsamic vinegar in salads
- On a cheese plate to complement heavy, stinky cheeses

3 cups red, sweet dessert wine (Port, etc.)
1 cup cold water
3 TBS honey
1 bay leaf
6 cloves
1 TBS whole black peppercorns
1 cinnamon stick
2 TSP fresh ground nutmeg

Add all the ingredients to a small pot and bring to a rapid boil over high heat. Once there, reduce heat to medium and gently boil until the contents have half evaporated.

Strain the mixture through a fine mesh strainer lined with cheesecloth into another pot. Bring back to a boil like before, then reduce to medium.

Once the liquid is nearly 80% reduced, keep an eye on it as it may erupt out of the pot. If this is happening, it means you're almost done so turn down the heat to medium-low. Reduce further until it's almost all foamy. When you remove it from the heat you should have a syrup left, and only about 3 TBS.

Cool prior to use. A little goes a long way too.

Lou's Most Excellent Faux Fond

Fond is necessary for any hearty sauce development. Fond is that stuff that sticks to the bottom of a pan after you've seared meats; the brown and black bits that you then add liquid to so it dissolves and then incorporates into the sauce that comes after it.

With non-stick pans, making fond is nearly impossible. And if you do/can with a non-stick pan, you're eating Teflon along with it since you heated the pan too high.

I was making a Carbonade the other day and the only large Dutch oven I have is non-stick. Stuck with not being able to make fond, I figured that since all fond is is burnt meat, why not just burn some meat bits.

What I did was mince some fat and meat - about 2 TBS. I kept these bits in the pan as I browned all the other meats, thus making very crispy, burnt meat bits.I threw in a couple of larger pieces (dime sized) for good measure.

Seems to have worked.

Lou's Most Excellent Vanilla Tomato Sauce

Vanilla extract.

Really.

I wanted a good, basic tomato sauce that I could easily use on pizza or as just tomato sauce. The...issue?...with pizza sauce is that it needs to be a tad sweeter than regular tomato sauce. "Need" might be a strong word here as it comes down to personal preference, but in my opine a pizza sauce should be a smidge sweeter than that you put on (or in between) your pasta.

I've gotten away from using refined sugar in my tomato sauce, and not b/c I'm an anti-refined sugar type (I'm anything but). When I read a Batali recipe that uses carrots to sweeten the sauce I said, "Yup, that fat bastard nailed it on the head!" I tried it and VA-VOOM! and from then on I've been using carrots as my sweetener in my sauce.

But the sauce still lacks something. It's not sweetness - it has the right tinge. It's also not any animal-based fat; a good tomato sauce should stand on its own without the fond and drippings from the Holy Trinity: sausage, pork and the blessed meatball.

So while sauteing the onions for this and thinking about a fantastic slice of peach pie and vanilla ice cre.........VANILLA!

I'm not kidding. It's not a lot of vanilla - just 1 TBS per 50oz of tomatoes - but man does it mellow out that tangy edge of tomato sauce and brings out that tomato flavor we all crave.

[Except for those weird-o's who don't like tomato sauce.]

1 box Pomi crushed tomatoes (26 ounces)
1 box Pomi strained tomatoes (26 ounces)
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
1 large onion, diced
1 TBS kosher salt
6 garlic cloves, shaved into thin slices
1 TBS vanilla extract
5 large carrots, peeled and cut in half, lengthwise
12 - 15 basil leaves, whole
2 TSP minced parsley

In a 3 quart pot bring the olive oil up to medium-low heat. Add the onion and salt and let gently simmer for about 15 - 20 minutes, until the onion is very, very soft. Add the carrots and garlic, mix, and simmer for another 3 - 4 minutes until the garlic softens. Add the vanilla extract and simmer an additional minute or two.

Add both boxes of tomatoes (carefully - they'll likely splash), stir to mix and then add in the basil and parsley. Turn heat up to medium to get to a simmer, then reduce to medium-low or low just so the sauce bubbles. Let sit for 1 - 2 hours.

Discard the carrots - or leave or eat them - and then you're done.

Lou's Most Excellent Hatch & Spinach Pesto

This is likely going over some pasta with shrimp and scallops but I can think of half a dozen other uses as well. Just alone over pasta would be enough, come to think about it.

When I make pesto I use cashews instead of pine nuts. The reason is simple: it's different. I also find that cashews tend to impart a more buttery texture to the pesto which gives it a nice mouthfeel.

Also, before embarking on adding peppers to this you need to judge the heat of them first. The heat here will build on you the more you eat of the sauce. In addition, the next day the flavors will have mellowed out with each other and result in a better tasting - and likely hotter - sauce. As there is a lot of fat in this (it is pesto, after all), said fat will line your mouth and deceive the presence of most of the heat...until it washes off your tongue and the capsaicin is left sticking to it as you eat more.

Resist the urge to add more garlic: the highlight of this pesto are the chilies. I know I know, I too am part of the more-garlic-is-better crowd but this is one area where less is, in fact, more.

10 oz baby spinach leaves
1 packed cup of fresh basil
2 - 4 roasted Hatch or Anaheim chili peppers
2 cloves garlic
1/3 cup unsalted, roasted cashews
4 TBS grated Parmesan
Salt
~1 cup extra virgin olive oil
~1 cup of boiling water

Quick blanch the baby spinach by setting it in a large colander over the sink and pouring 2 quarts of boiling water over the leaves. Immediately run cold water over the spinach to cool. Squeeze out as much water as you can and then lay the leaves on a kitchen towel and roll the towel to dry the leaves. Give the towel a gentle twist to aid this.

Remove the skin and seeds from the chili peppers and dice into dime sized chunks.

In a food processor add the cashews and pulse a few times until they're chopped up. Add the basil, spinach, chili peppers, and peeled garlic cloves to the processor and run for about 30 seconds, stopping to push the mixture down the side. Do this about two times. Add the cheese, ¼ TSP of salt and pulse to mix.

With the processor running add the olive oil in a steady stream. You're nearly done adding oil when the pesto is no longer sticking to the sides of the processor and has become a smooth sauce with the consistency of...pesto. When this happens add another ¼ cup of oil. Finally, add about 2 - 3 TBS of boiling water to help incorporate and smooth out.

Lou's Most Excellent Green Chili Mayo

This one is pretty simple, assuming you have some green enchilada sauce left over. This was pretty good, as evidenced by my finger in the stuff.

If you don't you could achieve a satisfactory result with the following:

1 small can of Hatch chili peppers, loosely drained
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
¼ yellow onion, minced
¼ TSP salt
Up to 1 cup chicken broth
Corn oil
Flour

Sweat the onion in 3 TBS of corn oil until translucent, about 8 minutes. Add the garlic, saute for 30 seconds more, then add 1 TBS of flour. Stir until blended and pasty; thin to a gravy with the chicken broth. Add the peppers, loosely cover and simmer for 15 minutes on low heat.

The Mayo

½ cup of Enchilada Verde sauce or the above quickie sauce
1 roasted poblano pepper, peeled and seeded
8 - 10 pickled jalapeno slices
¼ mayonnaise

In a mini food processor add the sauce, poblano and jalapeno slices. Process until smooth and nearly uniform in color and texture, about 2 minutes. Add the mayonnaise and then process an additional 30 seconds.

Lou's Most Excellent Kitchen Tips: Grilled Pizza

I make a pretty mean grilled pizza. It's really not that hard to do if you have a grill and some gumption. It does take some attention to detail as even slight variations can really mess this up.

The following tips are more of a guide for grilling pizza rather than an actual recipe. I've included a dough and sauce recipe that I've used many, many times that works well. However, if you have access to a local wood fired pizza shop, see if you can buy some dough from them. They've spent the better part of their career perfecting their dough and will likely sell it too you cheaper than what it would cost to buy the ingredients.

Avoid pizza dough from your local grocery, including Trader Joe’s. These have been handled a bit too hard and you may not know how old they are (a dough shouldn’t be held at fridge temp for more than three days). What results from grilling these is a chewy, undercooked crust that’s often difficult to work with.

It is important for the dough to have a high gluten content - this allows you to stretch the dough easily. Since you're aiming for a thin crust that's critical. Typical high-gluten flours are general "all purpose" types.

I cannot stress that enough: thin crust. As in nearly ½ to ¼ inch thin. With a relaxed, high gluten crust this won't be difficult.

Everything you want on your pizza should be ready in advance and within easy reach. From rolling the dough to topping to on the grill should take no more than 5 minutes. An assembly line is ideal.

Ingredients should be at or near room temperature too.

Equipment: cutting board, thin cookie sheet or pizza paddle, large metal spatula, grill tongs, grill mitt.

The grill. The hotter the fire the better. Gas grills, because they’re prone to condensation and do not get as hot, are not ideal for cooking pizza but do the job. Make sure it’s been on for at least 30 minutes before using it.

A BIG indirect fire is what you want, meaning, the coals/fire is on one half of the grill and the other half is empty.

Use real wood if you can and quartered splits if you can find them (hickory preferred). Splits last longer and burn hotter. If using briquettes use a lot of them - about 8 - 10 pounds. Lump charcoal is great but the fire will burn out quickly; be prepared to continually feed it if using lump.

Count on at least an hour to have the fire ready; longer if using splits.

Do not use a pizza stone on the grill unless the stone says you can. Most stones are not rated for temperatures above 600 degrees.

When rolling the pizza dough be generous with flour to prevent sticking to the rolling surface and easier manipulation on the paddle. Corn meal also works to prevent sticking; use this when done shaping the dough.

Shaping. I tend to make my pizzas in the shape of a 14 inch oblong “football.” Roundness works but I find that with the haste of getting this done shape isn't so much a worry. I've made pizza shapes that would make Picasso envious. A) It's still gonna taste the same and B) gives it some more homemade character.

Also make sure the crust isn’t too big. You should make it so you have at least 2 - 3” of clearance from the sides of the grill to allow easier manipulation and more even heat distribution around it.

Since the pizzas are small count on one pizza per person. This is part of the fun: you're making multiple pizzas so you can experiment with different toppings and combinations.

You CAN have too much when it comes to toppings. Decorate your pizzas thinly. Now is not the time for extra cheese, double pepperoni, sausage, ham, meatballs and extra sauce. Go thin on the sauce, the cheese should just barely cover the sauce, only about 6 - 8 thin slices of pepperoni, etc. Limit overall toppings to four max.

Toppings like sausage, bacon, shrimp, meatballs, chicken, broccoli and others that require long cook times should be precooked. Cut large chunks into bite sized pieces.

Force yourself to do just a classic cheese pizza first. This is the experiment and will give you a good gauge on how things are going for your baseline.

Some great combos:
- Cheese, tomato sauce, pepperoni, fresh garlic, mushroom
- Cheese, olive oil, fresh garlic, dried oregano
- Cheese, ricotta, tomato sauce OR olive oil, spinach leaves, fresh garlic
- Cheese, ricotta, tomato sauce, sausage
- Cheese, Parmesan, pepperoni, tomato sauce, cherry tomatoes, arugula (add this when finished)
- Classic Neopolitan (mozzarella, sauce, basil, olive oil drizzle)
- Classic Margherita “DOCG” (buffalo mozzarella, crushed tomatoes, basil leaves, olive oil drizzle)

Cheeses. Mozzarella (both regular and buffalo), provolone, fontina, ricotta, Parmesan all work great. A favorite blend of mine is a 75/25 mix of mozzarella and provolone.

If you have a big active fire in the grill it's not ready yet. You want the fire to die down some to mostly hot, glowing embers. Fire = burnt pizza. (Duh)

The pizzas will cook fast. Slide decorated the pizza onto the side of the grill with no coals and then close the lid for about 3 minutes. Open and using your spatula lift up the side closest to the coals; if it's browned rotate the pizza 180 degrees and close the lid again for 3 - 5 minutes. By now all the toppings should be melted. Let it set at room temp for about 2 minutes then serve immediately.

Troubleshooting
Pizza cooking slow. It's due to one or both of two things: pizza is too thick or the fire isn't hot enough. The corrections for this are easy...thinner crust or boost your fire.

Crust too thick and you can't thin it out. Low gluten content in the dough and there are a couple options here. Roll out the dough and place it on the grill with no toppings. After it's cooked some (bubbles will start to appear on the crust), flip it, and then decorate the pizza directly on the grill. You can also roll the dough out in between two sheets of parchment paper.

This is a bit tricky but it works well. When thin enough let it rest for about 5 minutes then peel off the parchment and place on the floured work surface. Work quickly.

Toppings melted, crust not crispy but chewy. You've got a low gluten crust most likely. A quick fix is to move the pizza over the fire when finished. This will crisp up the crust but will yield a pita-like consistency. If you don't say anything your guests won't know the difference.

Recipes

Lou's Most Excellent Pizza Dough

Before starting note this is an overnight recipe and you need a heavy duty electric mixer.

4½ cups all-purpose flour, sifted
1 packet instant yeast
2 TBS honey
2 TSP salt
Extra virgin olive oil

In 1.5 cups of babywarm water add the yeast, stir, and set aside for 10 minutes. If this does not begin to foam at the top after 10 minutes start over as your yeast is probably old or the water was too hot.

Combine the flour and salt in a mixing bowl and attach to your mixture with the dough hook(s). Add the yeast+water, honey, and 2 TBS of olive oil. Turn the mixture on low to combine. Now...pay attention.

The above is a very very very crucial step in pizza dough making. You don't want to overwork the dough here. If the mixer is "fighting" it too hard, meaning having a tough time, you need to add more water (if dry) or flour (if wet) by the tablespoon. The dough is done when it balls up into one solid lump and the hooks move it around the bowl. When that happens turn the mixer off for 10 - 15 minutes and let it "relax."

After this first 10 - 15 minutes turn the mixer back on for about 2 minutes. By now the dough should be somewhat of a solid clump - not too sticky, not too dry. It will have a wet appearance but will hold together. This will "feel right" almost by instinct so trust yourself here.

Plop the dough onto a floured work surface. Using a very sharp knife cut it into six equal parts and form balls out of them. Rub some olive oil over them, place on a large parchment lined cookie sheet, cover with plastic wrap and set at room temp for about 15 minutes. Place the cookie sheet in the fridge overnight.

The next day take the rounds out at least one hour before you plan to do anything with them.

Lou's Most Excellent Pizza Sauce

Simplicity is the key here so don't screw around with this too much. I don't add any sugar to my pizza sauce - it doesn't need it. If you want a sweet sauce just order Pizza Hut and call it an evening.

1 quart/box of crushed tomatoes (Pomi brand is my favorite)
3 cloves of garlic, finely minced
4 - 6 basil leaves, chiffoned
Extra virgin olive oil
Salt & pepper

Heat about 2 TBS of olive oil over medium heat in a 2 - 3 quart pot. Add the garlic and saute for about 30 seconds, then pour the tomatoes in and add the basil. Give about 4 big pinches of salt and a few cranks of pepper. Simmer for 30 minutes.

Lou's Most Excellent Pork & Broccoli Pasta

For a quick, weeknight meal if you've got the sauce - or any sauce - made or in a jar. Inspired from the book "Urban Italian."

3 cups of Lou's Most Excellent Tomato Gravy
1 pound spicy Italian sausage, casing removed
1 can of chickpeas
1/2 pound broccoli rabe florettes
1 handful of fresh basil leaves
1 TSP fennel seed, coarsely ground in mortar & pestle or spice grinder
1 TSP or more, red pepper flakes
1/4 pound thin cut salami, minced
4 garlic cloves, minced
Extra virgin olive oil
Salt & Pepper
Grated parmesan cheese
Penne pasta, rotini, rigatoni, or some other tube pasta.

In a sauce pan add ~ 3 TBS olive oil and two minced cloves of garlic. Saute over medium heat until the garlic starts to sizzle, about 30 seconds. Add the sausage and saute until done, breaking the meat up into small, dime sized pieces while cooking.

While this is cooking drain the chickpeas, reserving the liquid, and add 2/3 of the peas to a blender and all the liquid. "Liquify" for one minute.

Add LME Gravy, basil and fennel seed and bring to a gentle boil. Add chickpea puree and cover reducing the heat to simmer.

Blanch the broccoli rabe florettes in boiling salted water for 60 seconds, drain, and cold shock into an ice water bath. Drain well and set aside.

Begin cooking pasta.

In a frying pan add 2 TBS olive oil and remaining garlic. Add salami pieces and cook until just a little crispy, then add florettes, remaining chickpeas, and red pepper flakes. Saute on medium-high heat for about 2 minutes. Set aside.

Drain pasta quickly and return to the pot or a new bowl.* Add one large ladle - about 1/2 cup - of sauce and toss.

Serve pasta with pork sauce and top with cooked florettes. Add Parmesan as desired.

* If using long noodles like spaghetti, reserve 1/2 cup of the pasta water before draining. After draining, add back this water to the pasta before tossing with the sauce.

Lou's Most Excellent Tomato Gravy

[Inspiration from Jim Shahin.]

LOOKIE! No sugar! The sweetness comes from the carrots and onion. Throw in some meatballs here and you're all set.

2 boxes Pomi chopped tomatoes
1 box Pomi strained tomatoes
3 TBS tomato paste
1 chopped large yellow onion
5 medium carrots: 4 quartered and chopped, 1 shredded
3 TBS finely chopped parsley
5 cloves garlic, minced
2 bone-in quick fry pork chops
1 large bone-in beef shank* OR 3 oxtails (bigger the bone the better)
Extra virgin olive oil
Salt & pepper

*Could use osso buco but the price doesn't justify the end.

In a flat bottomed 5 quart Dutch oven over medium-high heat add 2 tbs olive oil. Generously salt and pepper the pork chops and the beef shank; add more oil if necessary. Sear each (may have to do this in batches) and remove meats to a bowl when finished.

Turn heat down to medium and let pan cool to that. Add 1 TBS of oil, the onions and 1 TBS of Kosher salt. Sweat onions (do not burn) for about 4 minutes, until they are about to turn slightly translucent. Add the chopped carrots and continue for 5-6 more minutes. Add garlic and shredded carrot and saute until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Stir in tomato paste and cook for 3 minutes, then add the boxed tomatoes and 1 box worth of cold water.

Bring to boil and reduce heat to low. Add meats and meat juices, 1 TBS fresh ground pepper, parsley, and simmer on low, covered for 1.5 – 2 hours. Add salt and pepper to taste. Use as you would for spaghetti and meatballs, etc.

Meats can be eaten (they should be very tender) but their principle means is to add flavor...but they’re damned tasty I tell ya’. Ultimate sign of success is the missing marrow from the beef shank; if it's gone it's in da' sauce.

Lou’s Most Excellent Tomato Cream Vodka Sauce

Jarred vodka sauces are just lousy. They’re too liquidly: it’s like tomato soup. I also think they rely on too much cheese for their flavor (which is wrong). I think I’ve helped solve that problem here.

I love this sauce. It’s great on its own or with pancetta, shrimp, blanched veggies, or any of those combos. Last night I made a version with langoustine tails that I found at Trader Joe’s.

I’m not sure how much the vodka actually contributes to it. Vodka is tasteless for the most part assuming it’s well distilled. You could probably skip it now that I think about it. That said: why? But also you’re not gonna get buzzed off it either. Whatever.

This recipe makes a lot so it’s great for having leftovers available when you need something quick for dinner. I aliquot remaining sauce in 1 quart Ziplock’s and freeze.

I also like Pomi brand tomatoes. They’re the ones in the box and I find they don’t have a metallic taste about them. Second favorite is Bionature but use whatever is available to you.

No olive oil here either: you want creamy and not earthy.

¾ sweet onion, finely chopped (about 1¼ cup)
4 cloves garlic, finely minced or pressed
3 TBS unsalted butter
1 TBS red pepper flakes
2 TSP finely ground black pepper
1 TSP kosher salt
2 TBS tomato paste
3 TBS flour
1 box or can (28oz) crushed tomatoes
1 box or can (28oz) strained tomatoes
8 fresh basil leaves, chiffoned
¼ cup fresh grated pecorino-romano cheese
¼ cup port
¼ cup vodka
1 cup half & half
Salt
Pepper

Over medium-low heat sweat the onion in the butter and two big pinches of salt for about 10 minutes, until it’s almost mush. Do not brown the onions. When the onion is softened add the red pepper flakes and black pepper, cook for a few minutes more, then add the garlic and cook for 30 more seconds.

Add flour in 1 TBS increments and stir to mix – this will start thicken like paste. Cook over medium heat for about 3 minutes, mix in the tomato paste and cook an additional 5 minutes.

To this add half of the tomatoes and stir until the paste mixed into solution then add the other half. Mix in the basil, cheese and port – combine – and then the vodka. Bring to a gentle simmer over medium heat and then lower to low/simmer. Stir in the half and half and simmer uncovered for about 30 minutes. Add additional salt & pepper to taste.

If adding additional thingies to it here’s what I recommend. Cook them first separately and then set aside. Prior to serving, gently warm them up and add to the sauce. If you let them sit in the sauce too long they’ll overcook (shrimp are a classic case here).

For ultimate laziness you can use precooked shrimp here too. Really. Warm them up in some very hot water right from the tap for about 2 minutes and then throw them in. Voila.