Lou's Most Excellent Guacamole

What is guacamole?

For starters it's about 95% avocado. And that means if you've got crappy avocados you're going to get crappy guacamole. QED: you need great avocados. A great, ripe avocado is somewhat soft to the touch. The kind of soft that if you pinch too hard you get a little worried you damaged it.

That's a ripe-I'm-ready-for-guacamole avocado. Anything harder don't bother with. Really...and I'm sorry to say that if that's all you got...you ain't having great guacamole tonight.

Avocado's originate in the New World from the tree Persica americana. Avocado's are not a fruit but rather a berry: it's a long story and I'm not getting into it as it has to do with ovaries and such with plants. Speaking of "such," the word 'avocado' derives from āhuacatl, which is the Azetecan/Nahuatl word for 'testicle'.

Nice!

Anyways. There are two main types of avocados found in the US: Haas (the black, rough ones) and Fuerte (the big green ones with smooth skin). The Fuerte's tend to be much larger so adjust as necessary as this recipe is written for Haas berries.

3 ripe (and I mean ripe) Haas avocados
½ yellow onion, minced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 Jalapeno, finely chopped
1 Roma tomato, seeded and chopped
2 TBS unsalted butter
Juice of one lime
Salt

In a small skillet sweat the onion with three big pinches of salt in the butter over medium-low heat. It should barely be simmering. You're goal here is to make the onions translucent without browning. This will take about 5 - 7 minutes. In the last 30 seconds add the garlic and Jalapeno.

Let cool to near room temperature, about 15 minutes.

Peel the avocados and put the pulp into a bowl. Add the onion mixture and lime juice; coarsely mix then add in the tomatoes. I like my guacamole with a few chunks of avocado in it and not fully pureed.

Add additional salt if needed.

To store the guacamole without it browning, put a layer of plastic wrap directly on top of the guacamole, trying to remove as much air as possible. Store in the fridge for up to two days; remove from fridge 30 minutes prior to serving.