Lou's Most Excellent HFS Garlic Hummus

I can't believe how crazy-stupid-easy it is to make hummus. To think I've been buying the inferior crap at the store all these years. Shame! SHAME on me! This said it makes a mess. Cutting board, food processor, etc. BUT...well worth it.

This makes A LOT of hummus so if you've got a party happening, great. If it's just the two of you get ready to hate hummus by the third day. Recipes I found called for very little garlic (which I changed) and I think a spash of paprika helps too. Lemon juice is critical. Most recipes called for 1 TBS of lemon juice, I think 2 TBS is better along with some zest.

2 cans of chickpeas, drained, liquid reserved
½ cup of tahini
½ cup of good extra virgin olive oil
1 TSP kosher salt
1 TSP hot paprika
8 large garlic cloves, peeled
Juice from two large lemons
Zest from half a lemon

In your food processor add everything all at once, minus the chickpea liquid. Blend the shit out of it for about 2 - 3 minutes. While blending, add in about ½ a cup reserved chickpea juice so the hummus takes on the consistency of...hummus.

The longer you blend, the smoother it gets. [Duh.] I think I wound up going 4 minutes but experienced the law of diminishing returns on that.

Serve in a bowl with extra olive oil and a sprinkling of paprika (optional). Dip anything you want (assuming it's edible) into it. Cucumbers, radishes, pita, carrots, celery, etc.

Lou's Most Excellent Lettuce Boats II

This is a take on my Shrimp Boat recipe. A little easier and more satisfying.

Filling
1 pound lean (90%) ground beef (buffalo used in this version)
½ medium yellow onion, sliced thin
8 green onions, white parts only, sliced thin
4 green onions, green parts only, sliced into ¼ inch segments
4 cloves garlic, minced
4 cloves garlic, whole
1 - 2 Serrano peppers, sliced thin
1 TBS sugar
Sea salt
Fish sauce
Soy sauce
Sesame oil
Chili oil
Canola oil

Garnish
Juilenned Daikon radish
Juilenned seedless (English) cucumber, insides removed
Kimchi
Omelet from Shrimp Boat recipe, minus the bell pepper
Crushed, salted cashew nuts
Whole butterleaf lettuce leaves from two heads, cleaned and patted dry

In a 3 quart pot add about 1 TBS of canola oil over medium heat. Saute the onions with a big pinch of sea salt until near translucent - about 8 minutes - then add the minced garlic and 2 TSP each of sesame and chili oils. Toss for 30 seconds and then add the beef. Using a flat spatula or pastry blade, continue to cook the beef while chopping with the spatula to make a fine mixture of beef (think of making taco meat).

When the beef is done add in the sugar, 2 TSP each of fish and soy sauces, the Seranno peppers, whole garlic, and white green onions. Toss and reduce heat to simmer and cover. Let sit for 30 - 45 minutes, stirring every 10 - 15 minutes. [During this time prepare the garnishes.] When the beef is near 10 minutes finished, add in the chopped green green onion parts.

Prepare a wrap/boat by placing one strip of omelet on the bottom of a leaf, about 2 - 3 heaping TBS of beef, a strip of kimchi (if desired) and generously top with daikon and cucumber. Sprinkle the top with cashew pieces and get lots of napkins.


Yum.

Lou's Most Excellent Quick Veal n' Vodka Cream Sauce

There's a difference between starting to cook and then getting drunk and starting off drunk and then starting to cook. Results will vary.

My SIL and her boyfriend were in town and we had a blast drinking the day away at an outdoor cafe in DC. Tiring out, it was time to do something for dinner and the plan was to do it at home. Her boyfriend is a real starch loving kind'a guy. Never met a potato or pasta he didn't like (except for a gratin he was none too fond of not long ago).

No added sugar needed here: the subtle sweetness comes from vanilla and the cream gives it a filling punch.

He had three servings of this. 'Nuff said?

1 pound ground veal
1 box Pomi strained tomatoes (26 ounces) or equivalent
2 - 3 TBS extra virgin olive oil
1 medium onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
½ cup heavy cream
1 TSP vanilla extract
1 TSP cayenne pepper
½ cup vodka
Salt

In a 3 quart saucepot heat the olive oil to medium. Saute the onions with two big pinches of salt for 5 minutes until they begin to become translucent, add the garlic and cook for 30 more seconds. Add in all the veal and using your spatula finely mince the veal; you'll have to keep doing this until the veal resembles fine, coarse bits. Continue until veal is cooked through.

Add in the tomatoes and stir to mix. Mix in the cream, vanilla, cayenne pepper, and about 1 TBS of salt. Slowly, while stirring, add in the vodka. Reduce heat to simmer and let sit, stirring occasionally, for 1 hour uncovered.

After one hour take a taste and add salt, if needed. Serve over your favorite pasta (tagliatelle in the pic) with lots of grated Parmesan.

Lou's Most Excellent Sweety Leeks

Need a different side? Here you go. Works well with anything (assuming you like what's in this to start with). Leeks are filthy veggies - always loaded with dirt n' shit. Make sure you clean 'em (I'll tell you how).

3 large leeks
8 pieces of raw okra, sliced into ¼ inch slices
¼ fennel bulb, sliced very thin
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 TBS fresh ginger, finely minced
1 TBS minced parsley
1 cup Gewurztraminer wine
Extra virgin olive oil
Sea salt

Clean the leeks. Take each leek and cut the bottom ½ inch off then go ½ inch into the green end and cut the leaves off. Discard the bottom and top. Halve each leek longitudinally. Discard the outer layer and rinse the leek under cool water, fanning it, to remove all the dirt.

Slice the leeks very thin, as thin as you can without slicing your finger tips off (which shouldn't happen if you know how to chop, but I do this wrong all the time).

In a medium non-stick skillet, over medium heat add the olive oil and warm to shimmer. Add the okra and sauté for about 3 minutes, tossing to keep even. Add in the garlic and ginger and saute for 30 more seconds, then throw in all the leeks with about 2 TSP of sea salt. Toss to mix and reduce heat to medium-low. Toss every-so-often to keep the cooking even over the course of 5 minutes. Add half the wine to the mix and continue to cook for five more minutes, then add the rest of the wine and cook for 2 - 3 more minutes, until the leeks are tender. Add in the parsley and serve immediately.

I topped off some halibut on mashed cauliflower with this mixture. Pretty good.

Lou's Most Excellent Piedmontese Blog

Check it out at the Washington City Paper.

Lou's Most Excellent Honeyed Asparagus

It's very easy to do grilled asparagus: coat with olive oil, garlic, and salt and pepper. Grill. Too bad it gets really boring after awhile. Oh boy, grilled asparagus, again. Doesn't that sum'bitch come up with anything new?

So if boredom's got you down, try this.

1 pound fresh asparagus
Macadamia nut oil
Sea salt
1 small shallot, minced
1 clove garlic, minced
2 TBS honey
1 fennel bulb, cut into ¼ inch rings and halved

Cut the bottom inch off the asparagus and plunge the stalks into about 2 inches of fresh, cold water. Let them sit for 30 minutes. [This helps rejuvenate the stuff - it really works]

If the asparagus is thick (thicker than your pinky finger thick), lightly peel the stalks with a veggie peeler being careful not to peel your finger, like I did. It was a gusher - took 30 minutes to stop. This photo is 3 days later.

In a baking dish large enough to hold all the asparagus, sprinkle with sea salt and then coat with about 2 TBS of macadamia nut oil. Add the shallot, garlic, and honey to the mix and then add in the fennel.

Grill over direct fire until lightly browned. Serve immediately.

Lou's Most Excellent Sausage Stuffed Chicken

Brilliant. Genius. Innovation defined.

How can one not go wrong with a chicken breast stuffed with sausage and then grilled? The idea hit me while running the other day as I didn't want to do my usual schtick with the bird, and this came up. I'm still patting myself on the back.

1 whole chicken breast, with skin and bone in, split
2 smoked sausages, skin removed*
Lou's Most Excellent Chicken Brine, minus the oregano, rosemary, chives, thyme, and onion.

*I used Meyer's Elgin sausage for this recipe.

Brine the chicken parts.

Cut the sausage lengthwise into thirds. Place three sausage strips in between the skin and the meat and lightly coat the skin with olive oil.

Cook the chicken as per LME Grilled Chicken tips skin side down, using hickory as your main smoke flavor.

Mmmmmmm.....